“Look at me.” It was quiet, soft and just the most subtle command. A firm statement. Don’t think, don’t question it, just listen. As I stepped, I looked down and back.
The leaf was just lying there, but because I looked down at it, I saw the nickel. I would not have seen the nickel if I ignored this little command to look at the leaf. I had to pick up this lucky nickel. Although the nickel itself isn’t worth much, pennies, literally, it was confirmation that I was listening. It represented my intuition.
It’s taken me a long time, lots of overthinking, lots of searching for more obvious signs. What I have found, in the last month, is that I can relay 3 specific examples of actually understanding my intuition. It is not loud and in my face. It doesn’t like to draw attention to itself, it will be there and is indifferent if it is listened to or not. It is the most quiet of leaders. It is wise, will not lead you astray. All you have to do is notice it. It takes silence and practice, but when you get it, you know what to listen for in future.
The first instance that I really understood that it was my intuition, was a month ago, while at work. I just had this quiet thought asking if I forgot to do something. I doubted, I questioned, but it was enough for me to check into it. And I had forgotten. I could make sure this task got completed and not become a problem. I realize it sounds so silly, but that’s when I really knew. Intuition had my back. I realize that I would always give it other names, attribute it to ‘luck.’ Never really getting that this was it. This is what my intuition does. It isn’t going to be smoke signals or a smack in the face. It’s just a quiet little nudge.
Another was the same day as the leaf and the nickel. I was sitting at work. I sit in a sort of cubby office. There are partitions and it’s like my own office space, but it’s open to the sounds of the building, and tucked at the back. I became aware that people had walked in the large open area of the building. ‘Jordan is walking towards me,’ entered my mind. Nothing would have given this away otherwise. I couldn’t tell by the sounds of footsteps or clothing or anything obvious. Then my son appeared at my ‘office’ door. It was him.
This confirmation that the leaf and nickel provided has meant a lot to me. It has solidified that I am on the right track now. There’s still more practice to be done but I look forward to it, like a good challenge. I get it now.
2 thoughts on “Leaf and Nickel”
Love this! And love reading about your journey.
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Thank you mom!