Manners

Who else has a thing about manners? And by thing, I mean, expect other people to have some.  It’s not like I am an old person complaining about ‘kids these days!’  as someone who appreciates good manners and is all over my kids about learning them, I really notice when people lack manners, let alone good manners.

Lately, a couple of ‘instances’ with manners in the line-up social skills department had me chuckling.  For instance, I was parking my car arriving at Tim Horton’s to get my tea last week (was it last week? My days are running together lately getting back into school and hockey schedule mode).  I was parking the car, a father / daughter were going in the door.  I go inside to see they have just gone towards the washrooms, so I am first in line.  As the people at the counter are (still) ordering, at least two others arrive and are in line behind me.  The same people at the counter are still there, and the daughter  comes out and appears to look around plus wait on her dad and she stands not looking at any direction in particular or towards the counter but is closer to it, in front of everyone.  Dad appears and joins her and they are now ‘in line’ to order next.  I chuckled since he obviously hadn’t seen what had unfolded, and that she inserted herself there, and he didn’t question it.  Of course there is forgiveness there (she was around 10) with the situation.  I had seen them go in ahead of me, so I wasn’t going to tell them to go to the back of the line. It was amusing, but I also have led by example and taught (bossed perhaps?) my kids about line-up etiquette and being considerate.

The one yesterday, I am claiming, was inconsiderate and rude.

We were at a Canucks pre-season hockey game in Victoria (so fun, we didn’t have to leave the rock!)  we were in a line-up for food.  Since it was quite a long wait, you notice who is in front of you in line, and who is behind you.  As we got closer to the counter, I don’t even know where he came from, I must have been looking the other way, a man appeared. He was standing beside but ever so slightly in front of me.  Close, as if he was part of our group, with my husband and two boys.  I think we have all been there, my husband and I look at each other, saying with our eyes ‘where did this guy come from?’ I knew he wasn’t with the people ahead of us, or the people behind us. We positioned the kids to make it clear we were here in the line and he receded slightly.  So he did end up behind us, but I felt badly for the people who were behind us and then got bumped back. I always feel that guilt, like I should have said something.  They were put in a weird position too, of what to do.  The conversations played out in my head this morning of things I could have said (“where did you come from?”  “are you with them?” “they have been behind us this whole time, are you with them?” etc.)

At a certain point I put a stop to the conversation so I wouldn’t let it dominate my morning, but it is a lesson, isn’t it? What I could say next time (is it really that big of a deal?), how manners are important.  The kind of person I want to be, and what to teach my kids (they had no idea any of this happened by the way). I also like that quote, that says: ‘you never know what someone is going through. Be kind. Always”.  You really never know.

I certainly won’t claim to understand how people act, and I know I will still feel annoyed or insulted by manners and lack of (I am not perfect of course).   How do you feel about line-ups?  One of the reasons I think, that big crowds aren’t my thing. 😉  Such is life.

Hugs,

Devon

 

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