Supporting

‘I thought we could pull off to the memorial site on our way to the game,’ I said to my son. He and I were heading to what could have been his last hockey game with minor hockey, before he ‘ages out’ with his 18th birthday a few months away.

I pulled off the highway at the turn. The light posts at the side have been turned into a memorial with flowers placed all the way around. There were a couple of teens there. ‘Let’s go, keep driving,’ he said. He didn’t know them and wasn’t ready. We drove on, feeling the heaviness of being at the site two days after it happened.

Jordan played his hockey game. The team lost, and it being an elimination playoff game, meant it was the end of their season. Jay and Owen joined us there as Owen had practice beforehand. We took a picture, proud and emotional that Jordan has played hockey since Novice level, when he was 7, and continued all the way through his graduation year. He will miss playing, and we will miss watching him play because it means he is growing up, and a stage of his life is now over.

It was past 9pm when Jordan and I drove home together. I said, ‘how about now?’ As we approached the street. ‘Yes,’ he said. I pulled into the turn lane and we could see a group of teens there in the dark. ‘Yeah, I know them.’

I asked Jordan if I could walk over too. He said he would go see his friends first. I waited in the car to give them space. He went and hugged his friends. It started to rain slightly as they stood there under the streetlight still in shock from what happened.

His friend didn’t make it to school on Thursday. He was driving there, turning left from his street, and as the kids were told, someone drove through the red light and hit him. It’s sent a lot of shock through their school, their community and their graduation class. The friends have really struggled. The parents of the friends have had a hard time keeping it together supporting them. The boy was an only child of a single mom. The friends have really supported her with hugs, flowers, and most of all the visits and company they provide.

The last week has proved to be a bit… of a lot. A lot of emotions. A lot of managing how to help or where to funnel any support. Talking it all out. Thinking of ways to support the family, the friends, the grad class. And you really can feel the support circulating. The ones helping. But that’s how we manage, isn’t it? When I still have my son to hug at the end of the day, to talk it out with. To support through losing a friend.

We are fortunate when we can support someone. But when I heard his mom received his Graduation photos in the mail the day after: that’s enough to make any mother falter, crumble – and pray that no other mother (or parent) should have to go through that.

Big hug,

Devon