“Over here.”

“Devon!”

As the words slowly enter my awareness, I realize the calling out is directed at me. Where’s it coming from?

I look around and see a woman standing across the parking lot. I have to get out my glasses and put them on.

Oh. It’s one of my best friends! Feelings of happiness to see my friend but also shame and embarrassment that I couldn’t tell it was her when I saw her standing there a few minutes ago. It hadn’t even registered. How bad is my vision?

As far as self confidence being a skill you can develop (see prior 2 posts), I definitely have some social aspects I would like to improve. Remembering names of people I have met, or recognizing people I have only seen once or twice are social ‘fears’ of mine. That fear of ‘getting it wrong.’

Working on improving this would be a big boost for the self-confidence aspect. I work at a place where I see people from my community regularly, so it is a real test if I can remember who they are. Obviously with ‘regulars’, you really get to know them.

More recently, I think I have had more confidence in general, so I have challenged myself a bit in this area to use names and even to ask or confirm someone’s name with them if I haven’t remembered it.

With Covid and people wearing masks, it has conveniently allowed that room for error if you get a name wrong. ‘Sorry, I thought you were someone I am meeting, but you know, it’s harder to tell with the masks.”

The situation above was definitely awful just because it confirmed to me how much I rely on my glasses for distance. But seeing as it was a close friend, at least we could laugh about it. I definitely don’t like getting anything wrong, plus I know it’s not a good feeling being on the other side of that when someone doesn’t remember you. I don’t like making people feel that way, I guess. I have always hugely admired people who acknowledge, remember, and address others specifically.

I think like all learning, social skills allow for ongoing areas of improvement. And the effort will be rewarded such as increased confidence and having that je ne sais quoi. This is one of my goals.

Sending Love,

Devon