I was reading ‘The Power Of The Subconscious Mind’, one of my winter book treasures that I found. There is a section on forgiving yourself. To forgive yourself means you have taken down blocks or barriers to let wonderful things into your life. Forgiving yourself means you are allowing yourself to believe that you deserve better. It allows acknowledgement that you deserve and shall have the best life and be who you are meant to be.
It says in the book ‘forgiveness is getting your thoughts in line with the divine law of harmony. Self condemnation is called hell (bondage and restriction); forgiveness is called heaven (harmony and peace).’
So I wrote down the quote (above) that is in the book and started a list in my notebook of the things I wanted to forgive myself for, the things I have always felt guilty about.
To summarize, it looks like this:
-working full time – have the boys in daycare and not being with them when they were little. To understand this one, you must know that my mom didn’t work when my sisters and I were growing up. I really appreciated having her home and being there, so working full time wasn’t what I had envisioned when having my own kids.
-on my youngest’s first birthday, I had to work. This in itself isn’t the worst thing, but it was at a job that when I returned from maternity leave, I was told that I had 3 weeks left (to the fiscal year end), and at such time my position would be no longer.
-anytime in general that I have been impatient, angry or selfish when it comes to my kids.
Then the last thing I wrote down was that I haven’t trusted myself enough, or done enough that I am not wildly successful at this point in my life.
This last point, I had recognized before for sure, I had felt that time keeps slipping by and I hadn’t been doing any measurable activities to put into action what I really want to do. I hadn’t expected the thought to pop up in my mind as a forgivable action until I had pen to paper.
Until I started my journey of personal growth, the time did just slip on by, but I am now thankful that I have started working towards what I want and sharing myself more. I would never have expected to share the above about the forgiveness piece, but it is amazing what a bit of time, distancing myself from what felt like an emotional exercise, can do.
Working on what I want to achieve should help this forgiveness and make everything worthwhile. When I look back, that is what prompted me to just start my blog and art and submitting stories in contests. I couldn’t forgive myself if i hadn’t. We all have dreams as kids, and I wouldn’t want to let that go. Writing it down and then sharing this helps as well.
Have you sat down and thought about what was blocking you from advancing to something you want? Do you need to forgive yourself as well?