Creative Director: Spouse Impact

I Create: Creative Director of my Life

Spouse appreciation post.

When I was a kid, I had this sense of ‘knowing.’ That I would find a partner that would be my best friend. There was no uncertainty about it at all. No doubt. Could it be because I had a model relationship right in front of me with my parents? Probably. They are friends, they laugh, they enjoy each other’s company. They just celebrated their 45 year wedding anniversary two days ago.

Thank God I wasn’t an idiot. That’s actually something I think to myself every day. All the time. I started dating Jay when I as 19, so the chances of questionable decision making could be assumed to be higher than if I had been a bit older. I turned 20 a few weeks later and he was 25. This was back in 2002, and we quickly knew that we were each other’s person. So it worked out.

Having the right person in your corner I think can be the single most important decision we make. It is a make or break, in terms of our own happiness and success.

I saw the term ‘true-husband-girl’ not long ago. Something funny, sad, good happened, gotta call him first. Always want to be around him. That’s me as well. He’s the first person I go to and want to share with. Nietzsche said, ‘marriage is a long conversation.’ And the idea being, to pick your partner based on not only being able to, but wanting to always have conversation together. He is also quoted as saying, ‘it is not a lack of love, but lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.’ Sage advice. Again, thank goodness that this was modelled for me through my parents… and I wasn’t an idiot (in that regard at least. Lots of maturing and learning still? Absolutely. Idiot in other ways over the years? Of course.)

I didn’t really ‘date’ many people because most people I observed (see last post), wouldn’t have made it to the date with the red flags or things I just plain wouldn’t put up with. Even certain wording used or reactions or emotions presented, ok, on to the next. 😂

I have found over the years one thing I’ve really appreciated that has come through is the wisdom that Jay has. He has patience in a lot of ways that may not be observed by just acquaintance, but a patience and a realization of actions and impact. He naturally has a chess player type mind. He could be a sports coach. He can see play and subsequent actions before they happen. He has a wide perspective and gives lots of thought before action. And with other traits, characteristics and morals, this wisdom has enhanced the relationship.

I am very fortunate. I do think about it every day. A spouse’s support and love ~ and friendship ~ are major contributing factors that can lift us up on our journey of creating the life we want. And what better motivation than having the right person there to enjoy it with.

Until next week,

Devon