Creative Director: Review

I Create: Creative Director of My Life.

I’d opened that book again, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People.’ It’s been over 25 years and I wanted to be reminded of the gems that are in this book. As I said last week, my aim has never been to lead or influence people, but as I recall, these kinds of lessons can apply regardless of any personal goals or motives.

The intro, the suggestions on how to get the most out of the book, already gave me cause to pause. The author gives example of someone who made a regular routine of review every week. A self-examination review. Looking at his weekly planner, he would reflect on meetings and interviews with the aim of thinking of any mistakes he had made, what he did that was right, and what needed improvement. What lessons could be learned.

I was reading this last week and then off I went on the weekend to a baby shower. In my childhood and youth, I was extremely shy and avoided many social situations. As a result, as an adult, I criticize myself highly for my interactions in group or social setting. So that night, I had a lot to review. There were many people there that I didn’t know, as well as a handful that I did. The event was even hosted by a couple that I know, although I had never been to their house and didn’t know that they knew the parents to be.

I gifted the new parents my new illustrated book, and since quite a few people didn’t know me or about the book, I realized in just a wee bit of panic that it would result in explanations and talking about myself to the group, once the gift was opened. And since I didn’t think about that or rehearse anything (😂 kidding), I, naturally, fumbled over my words and felt like I looked a bit foolish. When it was time to go and I took my dish for the food I brought to share, someone remarked that they enjoyed what I brought. I realized after that I wasn’t sure if I even said ‘thank you’. I was too caught up in my head trying to think of a comment along the lines that there was many more (much better) selections shared, although I didn’t say it. My reaction was to belittle my own contribution. Instead of responding with grace at the compliment.

In general, I think I am too hard on myself. I know we can be our own worst critic and I think about my own actions more than other people are thinking on my actions. But, it did give me much to review in the days after. I have definitely improved socially over the years. Certain situations or events would have made me want to crawl under a rock when I was younger. The review is helpful for how I think I could better respond or interact in future. This is also where observation becomes so important. To witness others who we admire, and how they accept compliments, give compliments, how they strike up a conversation or embrace someone with energetic warmth.

I also have Marcus Aurelius’ book, Meditations, which I am gradually getting through. His ‘Book One’ has a specific theme explained in this way in the introduction of the book: “[Book One] consists of a series of passages in which Marcus praises his family members and tutors for exhibiting various positive qualities. It’s likely that this was intended as a sort of contemplative exercise, whereby he might articulate and try to emulate the virtues exhibited by his loved ones and role models.”

Marcus Aurelius gives this, his own explanation for the practice: “when you wish to delight yourself, think of the virtues of those who live with you; for instance, the activity of one, and the modesty of another, and the liberality of a third, and some other good quality of a fourth. For nothing delights so much as the examples of the virtues, when they are exhibited in the morals of those who live with us and present themselves in abundance, as far as is possible. Hence we must keep them before us.”

I think this calls for a new notebook. I like the practice of review. What I admire or is positive about another, someone’s strengths, what I have learned from them already and what it can teach me about the person I want to be. And further, about events specifically, what I admire or can learn of others about being social, being inclusive of people around me and acting with grace.

Until next week,

Devon

If you want to see this book that was the perfect baby shower gift, find it here 🥰

We also have a book signing now scheduled! Victoria BC, Mayfair mail Indigo / Chapters book store on March 22nd, from 1-3pm! I’d love to see you there 🤗