A Lesson in Selflessness

“When you get home, go see what was dropped off for me. It’s by my desk,” Jay told me over the phone as I was leaving work for lunch.

I got home and curiously rushed into the room to see what he was referring to. It was hard to miss. A framed, signed Canucks Jersey. An Odjick Jersey. I stood there in shock looking at this and the note attached. A friend dropped it off for Jay. The jersey was signed for this friend when he was a kid. He wanted Jay to have it now. Odjick was an aboriginal Canadian hockey player, and since that is also Jays heritage, and being a Canucks fan his whole life, the note says this gift will find a good place in our home.

I also stared in shock, noticing the players Jersey number: 29. This is also Jays number, being the date of the month he was born. This number has also synchronistically appeared in our life together, many times. Odjick had lived and survived the nightmares of a residential school in Ontario and had been given the registration number of 29.

I humbly and ashamedly read the note of thanks for Jays friendship and help with their many projects over the years. Jay is a carpenter, so has been called on for advice or expertise with different things on their large farm property. Days before this gift was presented, I had been selfishly feeling like Jay is sometimes too generous with his time. He had recently helped with something that took a couple of hours one afternoon. It was hard work and as a result his back was quite sore for days afterwards. Which resulted in him missing work. Any self employed person will be familiar with strained cash flow due to varied work hours or days. Consistency of work and thus, cash flow, has been a reality and struggle over the years.

Many times, Jay will be the dad that drives multiple kids to hockey practice, cutting his day short or people ask for help and he is there. It’s been a lesson of patience for me, but I have come to realize over the years, that because his dad left when he was 2, he wants to give his boys what he didn’t have. He wants to make sure they have the chance to do the sports, and be there to support them. And he wants to be there for friends and family, of course.

I didn’t see his reaction when he stumbled upon this enormously generous and considerate gift that was dropped off, but I know it means a lot to him, and it was a reminder to me that sometimes the help that he offers really makes an impact on people. And of course it’s one of the reasons that drew me to him in the first place. He doesn’t expect things in return, but he knows that if you put good energy out in the world, that’s what comes back to you.

As I was preparing this blog in my mind, I just so happened to read this passage. It’s from a childhood chapter book that I had, and although it’s a Children’s book, I wanted to remember how the story unfolded. From Frances Hodgson Burnet’s A Little Princess:

“If Nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that – warm things, kind things, sweet things – help and comfort and laughter…”

Sending Love,

Devon