Creative Director: Comparison

I Create: Creative Director of My Life

‘Comparison is the thief of Joy.’

We all know this saying. We all know the truth of trying to catch up, or have all these other nice things because other people have them, other people have ‘more than’ us. It doesn’t feel good to think of other people having more or better than what we do.

I’ve got two specific directions I want to go with this today. Here’s the first one:

This came up a few times recently, to my notice, which means it’s a valid topic of offering something that ‘keeps showing up.’ One was a question posed to my art school alumni about the art work created being ‘good enough.’ To which I think, (then responded) about who gets to be the judge of that though? Art work can’t be compared against others work. I stumbled on that dilemma a few times through my art school experience. Because some people have natural tendencies towards a certain style of painting, if I try to ‘compete’ or do work like it, in a similar style to them, it just doesn’t come across as successful. I discovered this first hand, trying to discover my own style. I was frustrated that some people just had a certain style so easily. And I didn’t know mine. But when I tried to look around at all this attractive work around me, if I tried a style of someone else, it fell flat. And that’s because it wasn’t natural to me. The soul of it couldn’t be captured in the work because it didn’t come through me. And if I could create a piece in a similar enough style of those I liked, I couldn’t create more, because I didn’t know where to start. And this is because, if it didn’t come naturally to me, it felt forced. You can’t work with force.

Comparing ourselves to others just drags us down and makes us feel not good enough. At least it can. But then I think, well, maybe I set the bar higher for who I want to compare to. Meaning, if you wouldn’t ask a person for advice, or opinion, then don’t even think about comparing or measuring up to that person. If you wouldn’t want to know what they have to say, then why would you ever care for worrying if you have ‘less (or more) than’ them.

Comparing can also motivate. If it helps you get yourself in gear and go for things you want, than use that motivation, but don’t get pulled to the negative side of letting it make you feel bad. And remember that comparison can also be evidence of what is possible. This is the fun side of comparison – look at what people have been able to do, to accomplish, to create. If they can do it, certainly you can do it or something similar. You can do the ‘you version’ of it. The ‘you version’ would be your equivalent, your soul’s equivalent – what is true to you and done in your way.

Here’s the other side to this. I’m still reading for the second time, The Map of Consciousness Explained ~ David R Hawkins.

Realizing that life is a ‘feedback loop,’ gives you grace. ‘You strengthen within yourself the identical things that you strengthen in others.’ He goes on to explain the implications of this; ‘you will do well to constantly support that which is positive in others…. Support the success of others in every little way you can think to do. This means to also recognize and acknowledge their successes, which tends to reinforce the positive not only within them but also in yourself. It is not about manipulative flattery but rather genuine appreciation for the positive characteristics of everyone you run into…”.

Some time ago, I began to appreciate the truth behind this description of page 175 of his book. It has been my goal to feel fully the success of someone else. To appreciate, if I were them, what joy would I feel? And to genuinely ooze that feeling to them for whatever this success might be. Meaning, to be sincerely happy for them. Because if the tables were turned, wouldn’t it feel just as wonderful to have others sense my happiness and be glad for me? This can go for anything from someone winning a grocery shopping gift card, to scoring amazing seats at a concert that they are thrilled about, to someone making an amazing piece of art they are extremely pleased with and had recognized, or someone being given a free place to stay on holiday. You start to really pay attention to how things like these impacted their life, because you play at imagining it being you to really sincerely congratulate or share in the joy that it brought to the other person. You really allow the happiness to flow through you so they can feel it fully and enhance their own happiness. I have noticed this has in turn increased my happiness. Being so happy for another. They’ve shared their news with you, which is also sharing something personal of their own, and sharing that moment. So don’t ever be jealous. Offer some of your happiness fully, and you have a hand in increasing theirs and yours, by taking part in that feeling. Always support that which is positive and you avoid falling into negative feelings that can awaken with comparison.

Until next week,

Devon