Lemons

A Belief: A recurring feeling brought on by same or similar events. These form a pattern, and then suddenly you wake up, I guess, and realize – wait a second, this has become a belief. And it keeps happening because at some point, I ‘bought into’ this belief. And until I identify it, which brings awareness to the situation, it won’t actually change.

We all have beliefs that, as a result, manifest situations to occur in our lives. And as I was feeling rather annoyed the other day, it struck me. Ahhh.. ok. So I am frustrated because this has happened over and over and the message doesn’t seem to be getting across. So what is the ‘belief’ at the bottom of this that I don’t seem to be transmuting with awareness, into an understanding.

I guess the belief is, ‘if I want it done right, I have to do it.” We’ve all heard that statement before. And then I guess the problem is also control. To let my boys clean up, or do whatever needs doing around the house, I have to:

-let go of that belief that it will only be done properly if I do it, they have to learn how to do it.

– give up the feeling that I have to ‘control’ the outcome of whatever said task is.

It’s something we talk about when kids are little, we teach them how to sweep, and we encourage them (even if it’s not done well, since, let’s face it, they are little and just want to help). But somewhere over the years, the eagerness to help and please on their part, has diminished, just as much as my patience for wanting something done well. I still have them do many tasks, as I will not have them become adults without learning these skills, but most often lately is the reply, “I’ll do that in a minute.” The minute has to be reminded 5 minutes later, then 30, or it’s completely forgotten and left as the events of the day progress and the schedule still has to be followed. Before you know it, it’s the next day and that laundry load never made it to the dryer.

Because we believe this is how something will continuously be, it keeps showing up for us, confirming that belief. Then we feel like our life is full of lemons, like that proverb, that we are supposed to make lemonade with – meaning to look for the positive in the ‘lemons’ that life hands us. And we can certainly do that. Make lemonade, be positive. Give our kids a participation ribbon when they help clean the kitchen (kidding). Or we can look at something and find the lesson in it. If we notice a belief, and then recognize that this is actually my problem – my belief and my expectation.

Then I am faced with the realization that I can’t control other people – their level of care and detail for example. Then, with a bit of patience and practice, I can release my expectation, let go of the kind of control that makes me frustrated and understand the control that I have is actually only over myself – my outlook. And that makes fantastic lemonade.

Sending Love,

Devon