Mental Strength

I lay in bed at night consumed with worry. This negative encounter really got to me. Or, Why did that make me so mad? When that person made that comment, why do I care what they, or anyone thinks? Why can’t I better articulate what I am meaning, in that moment? I really don’t like feeling stupid. But also, why should it bother me so much?

So, with this reflection, I also realized that what it comes down to is I am not as mentally strong as I thought I was, or as I would like to be. Which brings me to wonder, how does someone become mentally strong? How do I grow my mental strength muscle? How do I grow my mental toughness?

My husband always talks about this to our boys. To overcome, to understand that their mind is more powerful then a limitation. That they need to understand that, although they may not know how to do something now, or aren’t strong enough now, that they can get there, and it can happen. So I asked Jay, in his opinion, how do you gain mental strength. His opinion is simply to tell yourself that although you may not think you can do something, or you may not think you are good enough, that your mind is more powerful. Always remind yourself of this. Always have that knowing, that what appears on the surface – a limitation – is just fear or uncertainty holding you back. Fear is not the truth. You need to gradually change the dialogue in your head.

He didn’t grow up with a dad, so he feels that he didn’t have the guidance, but he says that when some people witness difficulty or struggle, as he did growing up, his mindset became that he’s ‘been through worse,’ so that helped him to see that many things that he faced later on, weren’t ‘that bad.’ He had been through worse and, you know, survived. He can see that for some people, who don’t have a difficult time in life in general, they have a harder time overcoming struggles or limiting thoughts as they may not have had to deal with that kind of difficulty until then. Of course, that’s not the case all the time, everyone is different, but something he has noticed.

The other day, as I was pondering this, my son happened to have a tv show playing, and I walked through the room at the moment the ‘tv dad’ was telling his son, who had said that he hates to feel stupid, that feeling ‘stupid’ just means you’ve made a mistake, which then gives you the opportunity to learn from it. It was very synchronistic actually, that this conversation entered my awareness. Everyone does make mistakes, so I should recognize what it is that makes me feel stupid and learn from it. Just acknowledge what it is I want to learn more about, or be better at explaining.

I should also take my husbands advice and remind myself that usually, there is much worse that could happen. To remind myself of some perspective. That I shouldn’t let my fear turn into worry and consume waking moments.

Now that I am writing this, I think the skill, tips and advice of building mental strength are also found on Social media, through the works of people such as Mel Robbins, Jay Shetty, Robin Sharma, to name a few. Through their books, podcasts, and social media, their offerings show that they truly care about the mental growth, resilience and compassion of society. I welcome any tips or learnings that you would like to share with me also!

Sending Love,

Devon