I recently heard of something called the eighty / twenty trap. I was watching Regan Hillyer speak – she is known for her manifestation advice and expertise. She explained that the eighty / twenty trap was explained to her by a coach she was working with years ago. The ideas is that you ‘should’ be putting 80% of your efforts into improving your self. Your mindset, your learning or understanding, any growth that will help and support you. Growth that will improve your being and your quality of life, I guess you could say.

The other 20% of advancing, should be what you work on to meet your goals. The action items to get to where you want to be. The specific to- do’s to put you in a direct path for what you want in your life.

They call it the ‘trap’ because most people have it backwards. They focus too much effort on trying to force their way or hustle, to the goal they are reaching for.

When I heard this, I was actually so relieved. Because I feel like I am on the right track. I feel like I put a lot of time towards internal work, at least in the last couple of years anyway. Lots of time journaling or reflecting, and just internal work on the kind of person I am supposed to end up as. The kind of person my eighty – and eight – year old selves would be proud of. In the past I would feel guilty, not doing ‘productive’ or busy work.

I have definitely gotten over that, gradually understanding my need for reflection time and time spent with myself. I say ‘with myself’ intentionally. I just happened to see Mel Robbins post 3 days ago about spending time with yourself – ‘because that means you are somebody who is worth spending time with!’ She says. And I appreciated that because I like to spend time with myself frequently.

I was just having a conversation with friends at dinner this evening about the work ethic that seems to be acceptable now. And I just can’t help but wonder, why do so many people not seem to be concerned about their own growth and improvement? I hope that it is something that is on lots of people’s radar, but perhaps like me, you feel like a dork if you talk about or get excited about new understandings of self or life. I certainly don’t advertise what I work on for my 80% – but for anyone who has been reading along, I suppose it will be evident to you from various blog posts. I’m just not a loud person. So unless you are reading this, my eighty is a quiet pursuit.

The exciting part will be seeing what results from it.

Sending Love,


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